When we first started developing this farm, we had no stallions, and really didn't plan on ever having any, as we just were not set up that way. Our group of horses, mares, foals, and geldings were all in one pasture and everyone was getting along just fine. Trouble was, that we were having one HECK of a time trying to get our mares bred through artificial insemenation. A good friend of ours, whom we had purchased several horses from thoughout the years, contacted us and told us about this leggy black stallion that we "needed." Of course, you know how these stories usually go..... we made up our minds that we absolutely DID NOT "need" a stallion......but,... well,...... maybe we'd just go and "look." Well, Harlem (No offense "Mr. Globetrotter".....), as he affectionately came to be called, came home with us one day later, and there we were scratching our heads wondering what in the world we were going to DO with this stallion that we said that we didn't "Need". The truth was that his bloodlines were just too imprssive to pass up, and that alone outweighed all the other questions we had. Somehow, we'd pull it all together and make it work.

Never having really been around many stallions, we set out to try and figure out the best way to handle one. Oh, of course, there were many people that encouraged us to "Show that horse who's BOSS...." Well, that seemed a little odd to us, considering that doing such a thing would be an outright challenge to any self-respecting stallion, based on what we had come to understand about an "Alpha" horse. Showing each other who is BOSS, is what stallions will do with each other out in the wild all the time..... Hmmmm......we certainly did NOT want a fight on our hands, so that ruled out THAT school of thought. In learning what we had, using the Parelli methods, we set out to see how this new addition to our Family would react to a good dose of Love, Language and Leadeship.....with a little reverse psychology thrown in for good measure.

When Harlem first stepped off the trailer, I wouldn't exactly say that he was a "people" oriented horse. In fact, I don't believe he really had very much regard at all for his two-legged care-takers, for reasons that perhaps I'll never truly want to know about. Head held high, eyes wide, and snorting for all the world like a long-haired locomotive, I was left to wonder how in the world I was going to "get inside" his adrenaline-soaked brain. Often, a walk into his paddock would cause an immediate fear response, and he would flee to the other side, tail held high and head craning back over his ten-story neck, making sure that I was not in "hot pursuit" with a knife and a fork. After several days of me trying to get close to him, it occured to me that "maybe" it would be interesting to see if HE would get close to ME. I took a plastic chair into his paddock....and sat down.

The first day of my simply sitting in his paddock caused Harlem great emotional distress. He ran and ran and ran, completely terrified ....as well as baffled...at my presence, but especially so since I was doing....... NOTHING. I wouldn't even look at him, and that left him with NO IDEA what to do with me, because I simply was not even issuing a visual "challenge" to him. After about 30 minutes, I picked up my plastic chair and left his paddock, without giving him a single backward glance....although I made DARN SURE my peripheral vision was working. This went on for several days, and each day, his "circle of terror" kept gradually growing smaller and smaller, until he was close enough that I could almost reach out and touch him....which I still did not. The whites of his eyes and the pink lining of his nose became increasingly harder to see, and the all-out fear of not knowing what I was doing in there, became replaced with an ever-increasing sense of "What ARE you doing in here?" And each day after I left his paddock, as I walked up the drive, I would look over my shoulder and find him standing in the spot where me and my chair were....sniffing. Then he would look around to see if anyone was watching, walk over to the gate and look up the driveway...... Hmmmm...... "Progress" often comes in the smallest of increments.......and so often overlooked because of that very thing.

Then one day, while me and my chair were parked in our usual "spot," and Harlem was quietly grazing not more than a few feet away, he raised his head, looked squarely at me and walked right over, which he had never done up until this point. I wanted to jump for joy, but instead I put my hand out for him to sniff, and he dropped his head. I softly rubbed his forehead, going over his ears, his eyes, and back down to his nose. He stood as if frozen, and I realized just how HUGE this stallion was, as he was towering over me and my little Dollar General chair. He could have squashed me with one hoof. Still, as he stood there, with one hind-legged cocked, I noticed that his head was dropping closer....and closer to the ground, until his nose was just touching the grass. His eyes were closed and his lower lip was so droopy, you could see the pink inside his mouth. I found myself holding my breath, not sure what would happen next. And I certainly was NOT prepared, because in the next instant, that huge stallion's LEGS buckled, and he almost crashed right to the ground! Harlem had fallen dead asleep....if only for an instant. He jumped back with a jolt, gave a huge snort, and I pretty much did the same thing, almost toppling over the back of my chair. We BOTH looked at each other......"WHAT WAS THAT??!!??" Then his eyes softened again, and then he walked right back over to me and dropped his head. I don't know much about milestones, but that seemed to me to have been a huge one for this huge black horse.

One of the great things about Parelli Natural Horsemanship is that it places a significant importance on understanding what is going on in a horse's MIND, before doing anything with their BODY. There is just no point in "making" a horse "DO" something, if the heart and mind are not engaged. Oh, you'll get "results", sure.... but it won't be an effortless 100%. Upon further study into the psychology of "Why" horses do what they "Do," we discovered that the reason that Harlem was falling into these deep slumbers was that he had never been given the opportunity to completely relax in the company of humans. I'm sure he had his reasons. But, when he finally came off the "Fear-Train" that was being stoked by his adrenaline of expecting the worst from us, those "sleepy" endorphines came over him like a giant flood.....and he simply....and peacefully... fell asleep....if only for five minutes. Welcome to the Mind of the Horse.......

Over the next months and years, our relationship with Harlem had changed dramatically. Now he greets us at the gate, happily grazes in our presense, often allowing me to walk up to him and sit on his back as he lays stretched out in the sun. He is easy to handle during breeding season, never requiring more than a rope halter and lead. His happiness is truly evident. And yes, there were still those "gem" moments when he has his own personal "slumber party", but he has learned to enjoy those moments instead of panic through them. It is like seeing a flower blossom before our eyes, and his grand efforts in building a relationship with us have only endeared us to him all the more. He has become far, far more than "just" a breeding stallion to us......more than "Just a Showhorse." He will forever be an integral part of our hearts.

And while it may be true that his World Champion sire and Broodmare Hall of Fame dam are significant contributors to his superior gene pool, our beloved stallion exhibits much more than those typical traits of greatness......his heart and his mind far and away exceed his Champion pedigree.